Idle Thoughts with Philip Persinger

Philip B Persinger has been writing stuff for over 40 years. At first, he wrote a mess of plays. Two of them were good. Then he wrote software. He was successful enough at that that he lived the suburban dream. He worried about his lawn. Then one morning, he saw a woman he hadn't seen for over twenty-five years, running down some subways steps. He called out her name. She stopped and looked up. It was indeed she. The next time he was in NYC, he took a different route. He cared about his lawn. Then Wham! He walked into her again. This time at a Starbucks. Gallons of coffee later, he moved across the Hudson River. At that time, Philip said to himself, "If I don't write this down, I'm an idiot." So he did.

Read the full saga at: www.persinger.com

When were you happiest?
When I was cruel to someone to make my life better.

What is your greatest fear?
Taking a final exam for a class that I skipped for the entire semester, naked.

Which living person do you most admire, and why?
Bill Irwin, he doesn’t say much.

What was your most embarrassing moment?
That I actually answered this questionnaire.

Property aside, what's the most­expensive thing you've bought?
Fox bassoon, it cost $500 dollars more than my Cape Dory sailboat.

What is your most treasured possession?
I was delighted to realize that I don’t have one, when I walked away from most of what I owned in a previous life.

What would your super power be?
Ripping Saran Wrap cleanly.

Who would play you in the film of your life?
Alfred E Newman.

What is your most unappealing habit?
Interrupting.

What is your favourite word?
Question.

Is it better to give or to receive?
To give without the receipt so they can’t return it.

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Watching Susan Boyle YouTube clips.

What do you owe your parents?
$30,000.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Not-So-Gentle Reader.

What does love feel like?
A bleeding ulcer on nitrous oxide.

What is the worst job you've done?
I left the entire classified section out of the Block Island Times in 1972.

If you could edit your past, what would you change?
I would have built bridges. They are the perfect representation of a culture, the merging of art and technology and form.

How do you relax?
I don’t.

How often do you have sex?
Every time I get an email about erectile dysfunction.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Writing award-winning books after spending 20 years in the wilderness.

What keeps you awake at night?
When I didn’t drink enough Vodka.

What song would you like played at your funeral?
Bartok string quartet No. 5.

How would you like to be remembered?
As the dead guy.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
If you complain about something more than three times in the same week, do it different next week.

Where would you most like to be right now?
In Iceland.

Tell us a joke.
Duchamp walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “What will you have?”
Duchamp says, “Anything spilled.”

Tell us a secret.
Julius Caesar had sex with Brutus’ mom.

--
If you are an Indie author and would like to participate in our Idle Thoughts Column, please email the answers to your questionnaire to: podpeep at gmail dot com with the subject line: Idle thoughts. Please include a pic and a bio. You make use a book cover instead of a headshot if you prefer.