"How often have you read a book published through Lulu? BookSurge? PublishAmerica? Never? That’s what I figured. Sure, maybe you made a pity-purchase directly from a desperate-looking author. Maybe that author was your neighbor or your sister-in-law. But did you actually read the thing? Come on, admit it: You didn’t get past the first page. You swear that some folks shouldn’t be allowed near a word processor."
You can read Diving for Pearls in full at Internet Review of Books.
My summary of the points would be
1) You, the reader, don't buy self-published books because they are hard to find and mostly crap.
2) Some of them really aren't crap, including mine. We reviewed some others, that also weren't crap.
3) You can send us review queries if you are self-published.
I found the curve of the essay--from addressing the average reader to addressing someone who might query for a review (send "the title, brief description (100 words or so), any pertinent author info, page count, publisher, and publication year")--a little Escherian. But there you go, another potential source of reviews for the self-published masses....