Review: Bloodsuckers Must Die

Title: Blood Suckers Must Die
Author: Brett Williams
Genre: Dark Comedy/Vampires/Spoof
Publisher: Zoe books
Price: $7.99
Pages: 116
ISBN: N/A
Point of Sale: LULU
Reviewed by: Cheryl Anne Gardner

Rob loves his new job at the convenience store, until the local high school "It" girl walks in one night on the arm of a handsome goth stranger. According to her friends, and school officials, she has been missing for two weeks, and Rob's co-worker Nathan knows exactly why.

I wanted to read something light and fun. Halloween is just a bat fart away, and this time of year I need to get a little less serious about my reading material from time to time. Captain Spalding and I got this thing we do for the month of October, which includes a month of horror flicks -- good and bad -- a night of Rocky Horror, and a lot of genre reading by candlelight, and this book was just a fun little romp to start off the season for me ... well, if you like this sort of thing. That being horror comedy spoofs. Yes, this is a little bit Clerks, a little bit Lost Boys, a smattering of The Forsaken, and a whole lot campy like Jennifer's Body.

Rob thinks his new co-workers are just playing another initiation prank on him, and he couldn't be more wrong. These clerks are vampire hunters, and when a vamp comes to town, especially a handsome vamp, and starts sucking on the high school’s hottest chics, well, the Bloodsuckers must die. No two ways about it. By the time the mayhem ensues, you are already half way through the book.

Now this isn't really a novella in the traditional sense of the word even if it is novella length, but that doesn't really matter much here. It's meant to be camp with a capital C, so, and it very deliberately pokes fun at Twilight and Vampire Romance in general by sticking to the tried and true monster mythology. As for the writing, it's pretty clean though mainstream in it's styling. There were some glaring editorial issues that hit me like a wooden spike in the eye, but nothing a decent proof reader couldn't clean up. As for the story, I liked it. It was a fun fast read, and since Clerks and the Lost Boys are two of my favourite movies, I "got" all the references, and that just made it even more enjoyable. So if you are sick to death of sparkly romantic vampires and you just want to read an old fashioned vampire tale where a couple of angsty young convenience store clerks call each other pussies and dude, swill light beer, and chase the ghoulies with pointy sticks while lamenting that the mesmerized naked chic writhing around on the bed isn't into them, then this should be right up your dark alley. As luck would have it, or maybe it's some kind of witchy black magic, I have a limited edition signed copy of the book to give away for Halloween, so stay tuned in for this month's free book Friday on October 29th. Candy just rots your teeth, so why not win a book instead.

7/10

This book was reviewed from a promotional copy provided by the author.